It seems to me that too many gay men are spending their entire lives either physically distant from each other in isolated, rural, small towns or physically close but emotionally detached from one another, living anonymously in big cities, together, but just barely, in noisy bars, the baths, or pornographic movie houses.
Some gay men are comfortable with their arrangements. Other gay men would like to connect but aren't very good at it. They find making the transition between the solo and the domestic life tough, and full of obstacles to success.
They begin to wonder if they should even bother trying. they tell their friends they want a long-term relationship, only to hear in reply pessimistic predictions and a repeat of the latest myths circulating in the community about gay relationships, things like "gay golden anniversary takes place when a marriage is fifty days old."
Discouraged, they turn to books written for gay men on how to meet other gay men, only to find little more than superficial advice, too light-or lightweight-in approach. For one reason, the books shy away from dealing with unhelpful mind-sets and the emotional baggage they create.
For another, they tell gay men how to find Mr. Right, but not how to be one, so that the Mr. Rights of the world will find them. They forget to tell them that settling down with the man of their dreams also means being in his.
My promise to you is...if it's love you seek, I'll give you all the love you need. Just take my hand and I'll lead the way.