THE WATERS RECEDED:

In life, we experience lost. Be it love ones, relationships, friendships or material things. Sometimes we are helpless or have no control over the collision course of the beginning of lost. We watch as our situations shatters into millions of pieces.

Waves of emotions that reaches inland as far as the Ohio and Tennessee valleys. It washed away time, togetherness, happiness, security. But, the waters receded. The waves hits the ones that are the closes to us. Other relationships are lost. Countless more left homeless. But, the waters receded.

Relationships fall or fail, but they can be rebuilt. And love ones die, but they are remembered. We must cherish every moment we have with each other. With every laughter we hear, every smile we see, and teach others how to appreciate the time that we have and what we was given....our unconditional love, ourselves, our time.

So now let us begin.

THIS DID IT FOR ME:

WHEN YOU ARE BY YOURSELF:

I GOT YOUR BACK:

1) An expression assuring someone that you are watching out for them. Comes from making sure you are safe by watching what's behind you when you're busy looking ahead.

2) Can be converted to a threat: "Watch your back," from the possibility someone might injure or kill them from behind when they aren't looking.

There is such a power when you are about to face trouble that someone has your back. That is like a safety net. "If I stumble, I will go fall because Thaddeus got my back". And that is a true statement. But in having someones back you have to be sure that yours is stronger or as strong as theirs.

Be sure, beyond a shadow of a doubt that you are able to stand and pull them up out of a situation and know the position to have someone's back.

Imagine someone telling you that they got your back and they are walking into a situation with you. You are still in danger because while he is watching your back and is walking behind you, he just made himself a target.

He has to assume the position as back to back. While you are watching your front, his back is against your back "watching your back" so that trouble you are walking into does not has more trouble pulling up the rear. If he is not in the proper position then he is then called "a monkey on your back" because he could not protect you or himself. He just riding your back into danger and he is no help to you or himself.

So, when someone says that they got your back. Make sure they are in the right position.

THIS IS WHERE I LONG TO BE: (The dream of Africa).

A MINIMUM MORALITY:

I wanna talk to whom it may concern about a minimum morality. That's where people do just enough to get by. This being on the job or in any type of relationship (which is a job 24/7...365). I call it "A Loveless Legalism". Not everybody who gets a job is looking for work. So some of them do just enough to get hired and just enough to keep them from being fired. But that doesn't get you the promotions. It doesn't get you favor on the job when you do just enough in order to get by.

You have to do more then what is required. "That is called The Miracle Mile". The people who gets the miracle are the ones that go beyond the call of duty. It is always just a little extra put in front of the ordinary that makes any person extraordinary. (I just got to deep for more then half of you with that). You have to loose the focus on you. We are too wrapped up on "me and how I feel and what I deserve".

Forget about yourself. You will break the back of your oppressor when you fulfill what they required of you and then give them extra on top of that and tell them "I'm just doing this not because you made me do it. I'm doing this one because I wanna do it. You thought you were humiliating me but I am doing this one out of LOVE".

(THAT IS FOR SOMEBODY).

I STILL:

 I am pretty good at getting and maintaining any type of relation that I am in. Be it a friendship or a intimate relationship. I always leave a shadow of a open space if I have to depart but I do leave open arms for those that thought the grass was greener on the other side...be it betrayal or simply making the wrong judgement by leaving me.

That brings me to a subject a few years ago (College Boy). Some of you know the history of our time together. I have always extend him a key back to my protection whenever he needed it. I have a passion for him because I groomed him and he trusted me with him. He will always be the model and mentored protege.

Last night I got a call and did not recognize the voice because the voice was deep and mellow. I asked him who was I speaking with and in a soft mellow voice he said "this is the person that light up a candle burning when you call me up, the person that always gets his head mess up when I see you. Melt down like a candle burning every time you touch me.

I then asked him was this College Boy and he said "I still can smell you on me and it has been years since I have seen you".

College boy is 30 years old now. When I met him he was attending Morehouse College hence the name "College Boy". He was dating a girl and I met him one night at Best buy. He was curious about the gay lifestyle. Well, he now lives a gay life and glad about it.

FIVE MONTHS AGO:

THIS SHOULD KEEP YOU FOR THE WEEKEND:

BOYS NOT BEING FATHERED:

If nothing else comes out of my mentoring young youths what I am hoping is even if you don't, if you are not willing to save or work on your relationship (str8 folks) that you don't remove the Father from your child's life.

Lets be clear when it comes to having children with men that you are not married to without being clear with them that's what they wanna do.

One thing that prevents a man from being a good Father is that he hasn't completed being a boy. That is why he sits home all day without a job playing play station and eating cereal with his friends in his boxers and tank top, waiting on you to come home and fix him something to eat. Now you give him a baby to play with. You have got to be clear about that.

One of the basic things that's missing is the imagery. If you don't have a Father, it's the little idiosyncrasy that you can not learn because you need a man to tell you you are a man.

Every boy that has a Father missing has a hole in his soul that's the shape of his Father. Mother's do not know the idiosyncrasy of Manhood. Now, you can teach your son to be a good citizen, God fearing, a great student, law abiding, you can teach a lot to your son. But to be a man, he has to find a man to emulate. How do you talk to another man by looking him in the eye, How to shake hand, how to dress appropriately. How to respect a woman and have respect for himself.

I have a friend that has a three year old son. She asked me to take him to the restroom because he had to urinate. He only knew to sit down to pee. He needed a man to show him that he should stand up to pee. Then to teach him the finishing the clean up of himself so that he will not have pee stains in his underwear and smelling like a piss pot. Now, if a man likes to sit down in his own private quarters then do so. It is better if he does anyway to fully empty his bladder.

You need to be seen by someone that looks like you to feel like you are seeing them (that was too deep for somebody).

Any male can be a daddy. But it takes a man to be a Father.

And another thing for you young folks. It looks cute to be walking around with your little son or daughter but remember that you will be broke for the rest of your life or until that child turns 18 and does not attend college.

And you women, you should really look at the person that you wanna have a child with. That child is going to be the copy of the MALE you laid with.

THIS SPEAKS VOLUME:

I just wanna share something with you for a moment. Yesterday at my mentoring duties I over heard the board discussing the event that is scheduled for tonight. A fund raiser at $250.00 a plate. When they were discussing the guest list for the VIP entrance I heard one of the member say " I would like to consider Thaddeus. He has put in countless hours with these teens mentoring them. A great role model for the young black teen in our shelter. He is to be trusted. I trust in him, I lean on him, you can depend on him".

Now, this came from a white board member that only heard about what I do. I had meet him only once. Later that day the Coordinator asked me to stop by his office. He asked would I like to go to "The Night of the Broadway Stars"? He also said that they want me to take three young men with me and they would provide the transportation.

I have only been working with these teens for three months but I do it Monday-Friday...eight to nine hours. I care about these young folks. Some of them did not even know how to dress formally or tie a tie.

I have finally found my purpose. To be the positive black man to a young black male that he may see that there is positive black men among them.

This made my year so far. I will post pictures from the event tonight.

IF THE Pi CAN'T MAKE YOU CUMM, NOBODY CAN:

There is this guy that I have got a little close to. He presented himself to be str8. I love playing the cat and mouse game so I got to know him a little and each week I would reveal myself a little. Well, by week three I gave him one of my business card but I marked thru my blog with a single line knowing that he was going to get curious and see what it was. I told him to ignore that website.

The next week he told me that he had a interesting read. I just smiled and pretend that I was embarrassed  He told me that it was cool and that he learned a lesson not to judge a book by it's cover. 

Yesterday we were walking thru Piedmont park and he was looking at the women and I was talking to the dudes that recognized me from the blog. He said "man, you know a lot of dudes...attractive dudes". I told him they know me from the blog. I then asked him did he know that I was gay when we met. He said no but I was too neat to be a str8 dude. I told him that he was str8 and neat. He then said, "I have been accused of being gay" he never said that he was not or did not mess around. So I pushed the envelop and asked if he messed around and what type of dude he would like?

He said "let me put it this way. I would be the man in the sex play but I would let you jack my dick as long as you do not jack it to fast. And if your dick is not too big and is pretty, you can put it in my ass. Hell, I may even let you nutt in my mouth".

Now that caught me off guard and made my dick hard. Well,  now he have thrown me off my game because I am use of being the intimidating one and he made me feel like a lil bitch. 

This is going to get very interesting because I will play his lil bitch until the beast rise up out of me and he start using my dick as his private dildo.

TO THE DL DUDES...WE READY FOR YOU:

You've been seeing him at the gym for the past couple of years.  Light skinned, tatts, and scruff on his face.  He always wears a tank top, sweat pants and a ball cap.  ALWAYS.  His scent is fucking INTOXICATING.  He's got an easygoin' way about him, but you know his story just based on the way he checks you out.  And he know your story for the exact same reason!

He says he works construction. He's "good with tools" as he puts it (with a smirk) and can "fix whatever's broken".  You know by talking to him that he does in fact do plumbing and framing.  But that's not the repairs that he's talking about when he subtly flirts with you at the gym.

One day you decide to call his bluff.  You need a new bathroom faucet put in and the angle under the sink means it's going to be a bitch for you to to work on it yourself.  So you approach him about doing it, if for no other reason than you'll get to see him laying on his back half in and half out of the cabinet under your sink. 

When he shows up he doesn't have his tool chest with him - but you decide that's okay.  You don't have your shirt on and you're freeballin' under your gym shorts.  Two can play the flirtin' game, right?

It doesn't take too long for his "tool" to be put to use!

(THANK YOU PETE).